Updated: Jul 25
I want to talk to you about the importance of being you. Giving yourself permission to feel!
Imagine you're standing in front of a painting, a masterpiece of abstract art. There's a whirlwind of colors and shapes. Some make you grin, others stir a storm inside. But then, a shadow taps you on the shoulder whispering, "you're not allowed to feel that." Ridiculous, isn't it? Yet, how often do we paint our emotional landscape with this grim shade of 'not allowed'?
I want to remind you that you chosen to be born, your birth day is the greatest gift from your soul to your physical. It is the bonding of soul and physical to taste your life !
Whether that was a distressful birth, whether that was adoption, fostering, a good family, a not so good family.
And It is all fine, it is all part of the fabric of what makes you YOU! We all like different colours, different textures, tastes, and this is what makes us all unique. We are always enough ! Let's move from resistance into acceptance .... talk emotions and give ourselves permission to embrace our feelings ....
The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful - emotions are the vibrant palette that colors our life canvas. So, why do we hesitate, fumbling with our 'permission slips' to feel? Time to chuck that outdated rule book out the window, beautiful souls! Let's venture into the colorful chaos of our emotional landscape and hand ourselves the much-needed 'Permission to Feel'.
Let's start with the most obvious culprits on our palette - the negative emotions. Like that gloopy black paint, they have a knack for overshadowing everything else. Anger, fear, guilt, doubt, sadness, they're like those misfit toys, rarely picked, seldom acknowledged. But wait, aren't they the bad guys? Why would we give ourselves permission to feel these emotions?
Here's the plot twist. Negative emotions aren't the villains; they're the unsung heroes of our emotional narrative. They’re our internal alarm system, in our personal command center that something's amiss. They are our call to action, nudging us to mend, heal, grow, and evolve. So, the next time anger knocks, or sadness comes visiting, don't shut the door. Invite them in, offer them a seat, have a chat. They might have a thing or two to teach you.
But what about the positive emotions, you ask? Joy, happiness, love, excitement, they're the VIPs of our emotional club. They get the red carpet treatment, the spotlight, the applause. But here’s the catch. Often, we limit ourselves, hesitating to fully embrace these high-spirited guests. There is always more ways to arrive at our destination, even if we tend to walk the path well travelled!
Why, you wonder? Think of it as an emotional version of 'too good to be true.' "Don't be too happy, you might jinx it", "don't love too much, you might get hurt." Sound familiar? But here's a little secret. There's no such thing as too much when it comes to positive emotions. They're not a scarce resource; they're an infinite wellspring. So, go on, dive into that euphoric ecstasy of joy, that warm embrace of love, the thrilling chase of excitement. You have the permission to feel, to live, to love, to be.
And so I want to ask you that question today. What is your STORY, your NARRATIVE ? When have you chosen acceptance over resistance. When have you embraced your true feelings and emotions?
There's a whole spectrum out there. The bittersweet melancholy of nostalgia, the fiery passion of ambition, the calming whisper of peace, the exciting flutter of anticipation. Every emotion paints a unique shade on our life canvas. It's these myriad hues that make our masterpiece vibrant, unique, truly ours.
Remember, feelings are not a sign of weakness, but a testament to your strength. They are not your foes, but your most loyal allies. They make you human, they make you real. So, give yourself the permission to feel, in all its messy, chaotic, beautiful glory.
Emotions are like a secret language, a coded message from your soul. Each feeling is a word, each emotion a sentence. So, read between the lines, decipher the code. Your emotions might be telling you a story, the most authentic, raw, and real narrative - your story.
Feeling is not a privilege; it's your right. You don't need a permission slip to feel; you are the author of your emotional narrative. So, paint your canvas with the vibrant colors of your emotions. Let the shades of joy blend with the hues of sorrow, the tones of love merge with the tints of fear. Let your emotional landscape be a kaleidoscope, each emotion a unique piece, creating an ever-changing, ever-evolving pattern.
And as you give yourself the permission to feel, remember, emotions are your companions on this roller coaster ride called life. They're with you on the breathtaking highs and the heart-stopping lows. They're your fellow passengers, experiencing the thrill, the fear, the excitement, the anticipation right along with you.
So, go ahead, give yourself the permission to feel. Let the emotions flow, let them paint, let them create. Embrace the chaos, celebrate the harmony, marvel at the masterpiece that is you.
As you journey on this emotional exploration, always remember the words of the great Rumi, "The wound is the place where the light enters you." So, let the light in, let the emotions in. You're not just allowed to feel; you're meant to feel.
We have Children ourselves.
We try to expand on how we think as a family we should operate
and sometimes we get let down.....
and sometimes we let ourselves down.....
and that's all fine if you have acceptance and kindness
so that today you can choose to take a new step into a new version of how your family or how you feel.
My son was getting married during COVID at a game farm in South Africa.
And of course, because of COVID, it all fell apart. So they still are to go back to South Africa.
But most, probably next year now because they're getting married now in September, but they found out that they were expecting, which was pretty brilliant news.
And so they’re due a baby in December.
So how does that all work out?
You know, like COVID happened, the wedding was changed.
They've been trying for two years to have a baby, didn't happen.
They've gone ahead now with the wedding and now they're having the baby because when you relax, when you know what you want, they wanted this beautiful baby, then things happen.
And so yesterday we found out that our first grandchild, (thank you, God), is going to be a grandson.
So this is wonderful news. But it set me to going back to the scrapbooks.
I did scrapbooks for my Children.
So I wrote a little messages to them because you never know what happens in life, and told them I love them, and, yes, we've made mistakes, you know as parents, and my Children have made mistakes too. We are not perfect!
So through the years, you protect, don't you?
You protect your family unit, whether it's your parents, or your siblings, or yourself, or even your Children;
You protect them because you want only the best, but sometimes the best maybe isn't enough.
And so I want you to think about this moving into the week ahead.
I want you to consider where you stand today, is exactly the story you've created for yourself.
Is there a tweak that you need to make that changes your story?
Is there forgiveness needed?
Is there accountability on your side or the other person's side ?
I think having this beautiful news yesterday, and we did the gender reveal, and it was pretty exciting, really made me consider!
Trevor and I tried to be good role models. We worked hard all our lives.
I mean, I had three months off, when I had my two babies, and I was back to work.
I've worked 40 years consistently, and Trevor, and so we've never not worked because we've always wanted the best for ourselves and for our families. But was the “best” enough?
You know, our Children have grown now. They're in their thirties.
My oldest son is in his mid thirties, and they are living their best lives (hopefully).
And yeah, we've all made mistakes. My Children have made mistakes, we've tried to protect them. We've made mistakes. We have tried to right our mistakes.
But at the end of the day, life is only about what we can do this moment.
Don't get stuck in what you could have, should have, would have done
When you can start to enjoy your connections, your family, your loved ones want you to consider this…. because a lot of us get into that routine of ignoring having a
conversation or not allowing ourselves to feel. You’re allowed your FEELINGS!
So we just go on autopilot and that's not good enough.
Your Children - when they get a bit older, you can have good conversations.
You don't have to “not cry” in front of them If you're feeling emotional.
I have beautiful clients that don't cry or show emotions in front of their Children because they want them well balanced.
But if your Children don't see you cry, how do they acknowledge their own feelings, when they are hurting, because they put it underneath, because that's how they see their folks are reacting.
So I am a Welsh dragon. I come from Wales and I'm pretty balanced. But when you get me in that mood, I turn into the dragon and I breathe fire, believe me. It's very important for me to have those emotional outbursts and say how I'm feeling, maybe even to have a good cry.
When was the last time you cried, I want you to consider your well-being in terms
of holding yourself accountable and responsible for this beautiful life you are currently
creating and it doesn't always have to be perfect and you don't always have to be your best.
You can just be balanced….. walking balance.
If you feel balance, you will walk in balance and balance will find you.
If you feel all over the place, then that will find your chaotic mindset.
So what are you breathing today? From fighting yourself, move resistance, start receiving acceptance by being able to embrace your feelings.
If you are interested in joining our group accountability once a week,
get together ONLINE live with us, please send me a message, and let’s chat.
There is costs involved, but what is the cost of giving yourself back an hour a week to really dig deep and consciously make a concerted effort to better yourself, your family, your life,
to become emboldened enough to have a point of view.
So yeah, let's all do this. I send you much happiness and Gratitude for the week ahead.